Grease is the word (it’s the word, it’s the word, it’s the word).
Readers, Grease is one of my all-time FAVORITE movies. I’ve easily watched it ten-jillion times. My cousin Jackie and I had full sing-along sleepovers, which included singing and dancing to every-song-and-line with very enthusiastic choreography. I was a Pink Lady for Halloween in 1999 AND 2000 because I just couldn’t get enough. Kenickie was my hardcore movie boyfriend, Rizzo was my sassy inner self, Marty was my fashion icon, Frenchie was my hair goals, and Jan was my snacky-goofy twin. I love each and every one of them, and I always will.
THAT BEING SAID, a lot of sketchy stuff happened in this strange movie musical. Much of it went over my 90s kid head, but as I watch Grease again as a thirty-one year old (eek), I am left scratching my head about a few things…
GREASE:
THE CREEPY STUFF
NO ONE TALKS ABOUT
1. Everyone Body Shames Jan
“It’s a dessert wine.” - Jan
“Anyone want twinkies?” - Jan
“There’s more to you than just fat.” (Thanks, Potsy.)
Jan is probably the only average-weight character in the whole freakin’ movie, and yet she is the target of constant body shame. WHY??
Oh, she likes to snack? Big freakin’ whoop. News flash: Everyone likes to snack. Snacking and body weight are not mutually exclusive, nor is it anyone’s business what Jan is or isn’t eating or doing with her body (HER body). Just because Olivia Newton John presents as 'thin' doesn’t mean her body determines the standard for a healthy female form.
Jan’s body rocks, Jan’s personality rocks, and she’s easily the funniest of the Pink Ladies.
STOP BULLYING JAN, you’re pissing me off.
2. Vince Fontaine is a Sexual Predator and No One Talks About It
Remember when Marty was obsessed with Vince Fontaine at senior prom? “He’s the living end”...yeah, remember that? Sure. We’ve all been there. Teenage girls almost always catch crushes on hot older guys. And, while Vince Fontaine is DEFINITELY not categorized as a “hot older guy” in my book, he is definitely older. As in, pushing forty years old. FORTY YEARS OLD. When Marty approaches Vince at the dance, with all of her girly-sexy wonder, I didn’t even blame her. I was hopelessly infatuated with my high school history teacher, so I totally get the irrational hope that something will spark. Of course, high school students are CHILDREN, so there shouldn’t be any gray area. No sparks, no nothing. However, Vince Fontaine is all over Marty like white on effing rice. It’s wildly creepy, not to mention illegal.
Bonus Creep-Out: In the drive-in scene, Marty says she caught Vince tryin to “spike her soda with aspirin”. Aspirin? Is that 1950s code for roofies??
Either way, Vince is a creep and it is NOT okay.
3. Every "Teen" Is In Their Thirties
Yeah, I get it: It’s 1978 and it’s an all-star cast. And don’t get me wrong, I love every single one of them. But, Rizzo is 34-years old. And Stockard Channing (GODDESS that she is) had the prematurely husky voice of a woman three times her age with Emphysema. Sonny looks like everyone’s drunk uncle at a toddler birthday party, Doodie looks like he hates his job at the DMV (don’t they all?).
The only cast member who looks even remotely age-appropriate is Potsy, who is a mere twenty-two years old during filming.
It’s fine, I get it, but it’s weird. They’re supposed to be seventeen, and they are clearly and decidedly NOT seventeen. It’s not that weird, but it’s kinda weird.
4. Crater Face is the Victim of Bullying
One of my favorite lines from the lover's lane scene:
“You’re parked in a No Parking Zone.”
“The whole place is a No Parking Zone, CRATER FACE!!”
Guys. I get that the character of Crater Face is a bully. I get it. He’s mean, he’s rude, he’s chauvinistic, he doesn’t even go to Rydell High, yet he’s always lurking in the parking lot. Somehow, he shows up at the senior prom and sweats all over everyone. I get it, we hate it. HOWEVER, his name isn’t Crater Face. But...what is his name? We don’t know, because the only name he’s given is rooted in bullying.
Guys. Crater Face is a really mean name. It’s not his fault he has literal acne (or chicken pox?), resulting in textured skin. That’s not makeup either; that was/is his real face. And, to be honest, it was probably a very real source of insecurity for him, as it is for a lot of people with scars or textured skin.
Conclusion: His scars are the only identifying thing about him? No wonder he’s a bully.
5. Danny Totally Ditches Sandy At Prom and Acts Like It's NBD
Um, so prom is happening. Great. Sandy and Danny have recently rekindled. Great. Kenickie and Rizzo are on the outs, and they both show up with the nemeses of the film. GREAT.
But when the going gets tough, Danny completely loses his marbles and starts SEXY DIRTY DANCING with Cha-Cha-Effinging-Gregorio (“the best dancer at Saint Bernadette’s”). WHAT?!?!?!
This makes zero sense. Poor sweet Sandra Dee storms out, bawling her virginal eyes out, while he gets hot and heavy with Cha-Cha on the literal floor of the gymnasium. They even share a slow dance to “Blue Moon”. Danny is completely unphased by his actions, or Sandy’s absence. He doesn’t chase her, he doesn’t apologize, he doesn’t do ANYTHING.
In typical fashion, Danny calls the shots, and Sandy is just along for the ride.
Sigh.
6. The Only POC Is In The Prom Band…
There’s not much to say about this, because there are literally no POCs in this movie. With the exception of the lead singer of the prom band, of course.
Gotta love 1950s American history. We’re not good enough to attend white schools, but we can entertain you (for less than fair pay, I’m sure) at your fancy whites-only prom. Cool, cool, cool.
Short and sweet and good to eat. RIGHT?
7. The Lyrics To “Summer Lovin’” Are TOTALLY Inappropriate For Children
One of the creepiest "Summer Lovin" lyrics that still chills me to my adult core:
“Tell me more, tell me more, did she put up a fight?”
"Did she put up a FIGHT?!" A fight?!
As in, did she try to spurn your advances (how DARE she)?
As in, did she literally FIGHT YOU when you got too aggressive?
What does this lyric even mean? It’s beyond creepy. It might even be borderline rapey. This whole ‘summer of lovin’ happened well before the movie began, so I guess we’ll never know what actually happened between our hormonal fictional characters. But, I have to ask myself: Why is this movie littered with male predators? WHY?!
(P.S...This movie is rated PG.)
8. The Ending Is Totally Random
End of Senior Year Carnival.
Sandy transforms (ugh), Danny loves it (obviously), they share a weird and sexually-charged song (“We Go Together”), and then? Oh, ya know, the usual: They hop into Danny’s (suddenly VERY glamorous) convertible and cruise into the sunset. And, by ‘cruise into the sunset’, I mean the car FLIES INTO THE SKY. It’s the weirdest acid-trippiest part of the film, by far. Are they all tripping?? Does the car somehow fly?? WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?! Did the filmmakers think this was the most exciting way to end the movie? Why couldn’t they just...drive away like normal people?
I don’t understand. That is all.
9. Sandy Literally Changes Everything About Herself To Please Danny... And It’s Totally Fucked
Poor, sweet, Sandra Dee.
Bullied by her classmates, the T-Birds, and her own friends for the entire movie (Re: “Look at me, I’m Sandra Dee”) for her prim and polite ways, Sandy is thrown a lot of unfair curveballs. She doesn’t smoke cigarettes, she doesn’t wear tight chic outfits, she doesn’t drink or have sex or do anything kewl like her fresh, fast Pink Lady friends. But, she’s fine with it, and why shouldn’t she be? She’s comfortable in her own skin and I love it. (Or, I loved it.)
Shortly after the Grease Lightning race, Sandy mopes on the side of the road, feeling serious FOMO. Why she feels this FOMO, I definitely don’t get, but let’s roll with it.
Sandy suddenly realizes that, in order to finally be with Danny (again? Remember when he ditched her at prom? Me too.), she needs to change literally everything about herself.
Cut to the next scene - Senior Prom Carnival. Sandy struts out (to a chorus of T-Bird catcalls) in the tightest spandex ensemble anyone’s ever seen. Danny is beside himself with lust and admiration; she’s FINALLY exactly what he wanted her to be.
So, Sweet Sandra Dee traded in her long skirts and tennis shoes for cigarettes and hot pants. Even though she looks cute, we all know that’s not Sandy’s true style.
So, I have to ask myself: What’s the message? Change your personality, change your look, change your fundamental morals, and MAYBE you’ll snag the guy who dumped you twice already?? Really?
Great.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Let me just reiterate:
I LOVE GREASE.
I love everything about it: The music, the cast, the costumes, the cinematography, it’s everything my musical theatre heart wants and more. But, hey - it’s 2021, and I’m full of questions. What’s the ultimate message of this movie? What does the ending mean? There are countless scenes that support bullying, peer pressure, body shaming, and creepy predatorial approaches to sex and relationships. It’s weird and strange and I’m not sure who benefits. Oh, the patriarchy? Cool.
I will always love Grease, but I’ve learned to watch it with a very textured grain of salt. It was 1978, and white men ruled the roost (don’t they still?). When I show my future little ones this movie, I will DEFINITELY hit pause to explain why it’s paramount to empower women and people of color.
Ahem, in Conclusion:
Eat the snacks you want
Wear the clothes you want
Be the person you want
Don’t support segregation, body shaming, sexual assault, or peer pressure
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